Tips to conquer self-doubt at your workplace, MBA group interviews or networking events
It’s safe to say everyone has faced even a little bit of self-doubt at some point in their lives. Oddly enough, feelings of self-doubt for high achievers feel particularly severe, and can even be paralyzing. According to a recent Kellogg Insight article, Ellen Taaffe, a clinical assistant professor of leadership and director of women’s leadership programs at Kellogg, gives her advice on managing self-doubt and pushing past insecurities.
Don’t get too comfortable playing the observer to conquer self-doubt
A common manifestation according to what Taaffe sees daily is, “many high achievers have a perfectionist streak that can make them loath to act without 100 percent certainty, especially in new situations when they perceive they are more likely to misstep. So, they hold back, waiting rather than jumping in and learning.” Often many MBA candidates that are high-achievers approach every situation with high-stakes and their self-doubt becomes crippling. When in actual fact, taking smaller risks could have many more benefits and consequently defeat self-doubt.
A better approach is launching in on the MBA situation early enough avoiding getting too comfortable in the observer role. Taaffe adds that there are two advantages to this, “It gets you past the ‘good answers being taken’ issue; and it can be a catalyst for others’ ideas that collectively get the team to a better place. The more you chime in, the more comfortable you will feel the next time.” Another way to free yourself up to ask your best questions and offer your best ideas, is to shift your mindset. According to Taaffe this is shifting your MBA mindset from “I don’t know this yet” to “I’m learning here.” She adds that this, “helps you and the group check assumptions" and this "can lead to an updated way of looking at an opportunity.”
2. Take a cue from those around you to limit self-doubt creeping in
According to Taaffe, self-doubt stems from feeling unqualified. But this feeling can be overcome by feeding off the confidence and courage from others around you. Take your workplace for example, the individuals who have taken stretch assignments are usually people who stepped in last minute. These individuals have soon proved themselves proficient in that particular role. This is an example of a leader that applied his or her strengths to new challenges. Taaffe says, “You may think of these colleagues as fearless, but in reality, many of them feel the fear and act anyway.” You could be them and this could be you.
Another point Taffee drives home is that it is important to realize how other aspects influence self-doubt. Aspects such as gender forms perceptions of readiness for new responsibilities and stretch assignments. “Men tend to go for a promotion or a position with a lot fewer of the skills that are listed on the job posting, whereas women look at those same skills and may think, ‘I am not ready yet,’” says Taaffe. “It’s easy to forget that all of us are hired or promoted due to our potential to learn the role versus already being able to do it at an A+ level. If we hold ourselves to a higher bar than others and as a result do not pursue bigger opportunities, we can get left behind, even in roles where we could have developed and excelled.”
3. Ditch the diminishing language to ditch self-doubt
You can project self-confidence daily by recognizing and minimizing how often you use qualifying language that shows your self-doubt. When you are intimidated or doubting yourself, you tend to use language such as “Am I making sense?” or “This may be a bad idea but…” Other aspects of self-doubting clues include speeding up the pace or losing confidence audibly.
Instead, Taaffe recommends to rather use more confident sounding open ended questions during your MBA meetings, group interviews, or even networking events. Questions such as “What are your thoughts?” and “What questions do you have?” Assuming you have a level of trust with your business school colleagues or MBA mentors, you can ask them for legitimate feedback afterwards. Taaffe says, “It can act as encouragement to monitor your own behavior and give you a confidence boost that acts as a kind of permission to jump right in and not hold back.”